The damage my wife received as a child makes her very abusive toward me.

Someone emailed:
Thank you for your incredible work. I have not had a chance to read all of it yet but I already have the sense that you have gone WAY beyond anything else I have found toward discovering the "elusive authorial intent" regarding God's view of divorce.

My wife and I both love the Lord, but the damage she received as a child from her Father has made her very abusive toward me. The verbal abuse started on our wedding night and escalated over the following twelve months to her threatening to kill me a number of times and eventually attacking me with a large henkle knife (please understand that I have been what most people would call a good husband who has only tried to love her)

We were married two years ago but have been separated for the last eight months. I have regained most of my health but although she is wiling to reconcile, I have lost all hope of reasoning with her as she does not seem to be able to hear or see anything but her own view.

I have lost all hope of coming to a place of agreement with her on even the most basic of our disagreements and although I care about her deeply, I become physically ill at the thought of getting back together with her.

BUT . . . I will do whatever will please my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
I have hope of freedom from what I have read so far on the web from "Divorce and Remarriage in the Bible" and I would be honored if you could point me to a specific chapter or commentary on the question "is attempted murder grounds for divorce in God's eyes?"

It hurts me deeply to even ask this, because I care about my wife, and I am not bitter toward her, but I simply can't go back there.

Reply: I'm sorry to hear about your sad situation. The Biblical grounds for divorce are sexual faithfulness, material support (food & clothing) and emotional support (love). These are the minimum grounds - anything worse is certainly a ground for divorce, and attempted murder is certainly a failure to support.

This is a legalistic reply, and you need much more support than that. Please seek help from your local minister as well as reading and praying on your own. Even if he/she doesn't read scripture in the same way, it will help you to find God's will by looking at your situation in a more dispationate way.

God be with you at this difficult time.

See more at So what can we say to the abused? in Divorce & Remarriage in the Church

1 comment:

Andrew said...

To the Christian people of God and to those who elect God and Jesus Christ Lord and savior. I Love him the one who made us and the one who loves us when we didn't love ourselves. According to the bible(KJV) the true bible not the imitatation ones but in Mark ch. 10 vss 10-12 he says "whosoever leaves his wife and marries another commits adultery. Here it is no where did Jesus say for any other reason. My question is who are you going to listen to. The one that knows and care about you or someone interpreting from their own carnal mind that has transgressed of sin. I think I would choose Jesus(yahwey)

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